Those were the first words Alex said to me when I picked him up one day last week. Usually he tells me he doesn’t want to come home because he wants to stay at school. Usually he’ll explain what fun game he was playing with his friends that can’t be interrupted just for dinner and bath time and bed time. Usually, if there are tears involved in pick-up it’s because he would rather stay with his teachers and friends than come home and hang out with his boring old parents.

Apparently, he had a bad day.

The reasons for the bad day aren’t entirely clear, but it had something to do with a fight with his friend, getting in trouble for something he claims he didn’t do, and not liking the snacks they served at school.

Life as a five year old is rough.

“What can I do to make your day a little better, buddy?”

“The only thing you could possibly do to make me happy you won’t do!”

After a lot of coaxing, he finally told me what that only thing that I could do to make him happy is: buy him a new toy.

Clearly that is not the best way to deal with a bad day (although I can’t blame him for the desire), so we brain stormed:

Movie night? No.

Movie night with popcorn?! No.

Playing on the swingset? No.

Going for a bike ride? No.

Taking a walk and looking for cool rocks/leaves/flowers/animals? No.

Changing into a bathing suit and playing in the sprinkler? No.

“Wait! …yes. That would make me happier!”

He didn’t even care that I couldn’t find the sprinkler and could only offer him the hose.

Crisis? Averted.

I’m a little freaked out, a little nervous, a bit excited, and highly anxious. Did I mention scared? Because that’s true, too. 

Something about Kindergarten is scary. It’s not yet real school, but it’s the closest we’ve come yet. In our district, it’s a half day program, with an option of “Extended Day” to allow for a full day of sorts. We, obviously, will be doing the full day option, with both of us working full-time, regular-hour, jobs. (And let me tell you: working regular hours has been amazing. I am finally, finally, home every evening. I finally don’t go a day, or two, or three, without seeing Alex due to ridiculous work hours.)

Alex will be in school. Public school. With assignments. And classes. And other students who are also in school, public school, with assignments, and classes. 

He’s really growing up. It’s crazy amazing. 

A few months ago, I brought up Kindergarten with Alex. I explained the new school thing, exciting new playground, even more friends. I tried to make it sound Super! Exciting!

I must have failed miserably, because for the next few months he would burst into full on sobs any time it was mentioned. In fact, he would start crying even when I didn’t mention it.

“I…don’t…want…to…go…to…a…new…school.”

Little man broke my heart time and time again. He explained that he likes his current daycare. He likes his friends and doesn’t need new ones. He likes his teachers and doesn’t want new ones. He loves his playgrounds because there are two of them, and they both have benches, and there is a tire swing and regular swings, and a play house, and monkey bars, and a slide…

He told me time and time again that he didn’t want to leave his current school. He wanted to stay there forever.

One night he was crying so hard he was barely breathing, and I have been panicked ever since.

Something changed, and somehow he is now excited about it. I don’t know what happened, but some combination of knowing that some of his favorite friends are in real school already, that half of the day will be in an extended day program that has iPads, and that he will become a “School Aged Kid” like the older children who currently visit with his class during the after school hours to play, has made him okay with it. Some bit of information, or combination of multiple factors, has made starting Kindergarten in a few months okay. Whatever it was, I’m thankful for it.

“Tomorrow I get to see my new school? And then next week I get to go?!…Aw, man! I have to wait until after the summer is over?!”

Not just yet, Alex. You are still a little boy for a few more months.

We spent a good chunk of time outside both days this weekend.

It was fun to watch what a difference there has been in Alex’s motor skills in just a few months.

He’s still a total goofball, who is only slightly better about cooperating for pictures than the last time it was warm out.

I wish every day could be 70 degrees and sunny.

Who wants to make that happen, hmmm?

I know we are all looking forward to the regularly warm weather to arrive.

I started my new job, which is 95% awesome. (The 5% that isn’t awesome? Commuting from the ‘burbs to my job in the city at rush hour.)

Alex is 95% awesome. (The 5% that isn’t awesome? He’s in a…how to phrase this? Tough phase right now. He’s just…yeah, tough. Often.)

We have made the official decision to send Alex to Kindergarten in the fall.

Maybe some day I’ll write a real post. A post about all of the hilarious things that the now five-and-a-half year-old says. A post about the struggles we are currently facing getting him to not be scared to try. A post about how Alex made a bowl out of clay, painted it, and was to give it to “someone he loves” for Valentine’s Day, and he gave it to a girl (not me!). A post about just how much Alex cracks me up these days.

Maybe someday. For now, I’m enjoying being home every evening. I’m enjoying spending the most time with my family that I have since I first went back to school when Alex was two.

And, quite frankly, while I wish I had photographic evidence and some written words about these enjoyments, I think it’s pretty important to just live the moments, too.

He told me, in no uncertain terms, that he hates having his pictures taken. But! It’s okay if he gets to see them, make funny faces, or think about a certain favorite girlfriend of his.

It was such a beautiful morning, albeit it a little cloudy, that when the time came to come in and begin our typical routine for the day (cleaning the house and grocery shopping) neither of us was particularly happy about it.

Within about 15 minutes of our playing outside, it started to drizzle. Nothing serious, so a few more jumps and slides and swings were able to occur before heading inside.

I could do with more 60 degree days in December (as long as I don’t think too hard about what it all means).

The weather was especially appreciated by me because it made it easy to get a few cute pictures for Christmas cards.

Filed under: Alexander, Food, Pictures, Zach ]]> http://allisonsays.com/2012/11/23/thanksgiving-2012-a-summary/feed/ 0 allisonbarton Thanksgiving 2012 Thanksgiving 2012 Thanksgiving 2012 Thanksgiving 2012 Thanksgiving 2012 Thanksgiving 2012 http://allisonsays.com/2012/11/14/a-change-will-do-me-good-again/ http://allisonsays.com/2012/11/14/a-change-will-do-me-good-again/#comments Wed, 14 Nov 2012 15:09:17 +0000 allisonbarton http://allisonsays.com/?p=2431 ]]> Because apparently I don’t like to keep my life simple, things are changing again.

I am leaving my current job. The hours that were so much better than my previous job were still too far away from what I want. Being away for two or three evenings per week is just not something I can handle. I missed Alex. I missed Zach. I was actually away from them for more evenings than when I was working overnight shifts.

So, in a few weeks I’m starting yet another New Thing. A job that will be regular hours; no nights, no weekends, and no holidays. I was told there could potentially be an evening here or there when I have to “stay late”: six pm. If I left work at that time I would be home in time for dinner, baths, homework…you know, life.

This time could be the time that I finally manage to settle down and develop some sort of normalcy. Instead of changing everything about my time away from home once a year, it would be nice to, well, not.

I can’t miss this little guy’s stories every day after school. I can’t miss out on helping him with homework as often as three times per week. I can’t miss the nightly costume changes, the drama, the emotional turmoil over some kid at school who did something to someone and apparently it’s so terrible that breathing has become optional. I can’t not be there so often.

We all have priorities, and every single person has different ones. I would like to say that I’m career oriented, but, quite frankly, I’m not. I want to do meaningful work, and I want to make my time away from my family worthwhile. I think this new job will offer me not only the hours that I desire in order to be with my family, but also feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction with making a difference.

It’s going to be yet another steep learning curve. Each time I finally feel comfortable in my role, I move on. I finally was really good at being a student when I got pregnant. I was finally comfortable taking the last few courses I needed to get my degree when I graduated. I was finally figuring out the whole MommyThing when I went back to school. I was finally totally comfortable with being a student and a mother when I graduated again. I was finally feeling (mostly) confident in my first nursing role when I left the position. I finally feel quite confident in my current position, and I’m leaving in just a few more shifts. Moving on. Changing things up yet again.

But I’m optimistic that this will be a good change. Kids are what I love. My love for kids can’t only be love for the kids that I take care of at work; it obviously has to include my son. I can’t go an entire day without seeing him more than once per week.

He’s my little man, and I want to help him become a real man.

Filed under: Alexander, Pictures, Ramblings, Work, Zach ]]> http://allisonsays.com/2012/11/14/a-change-will-do-me-good-again/feed/ 3 allisonbarton Halloween Halloween http://allisonsays.com/2012/10/02/six-girlfriends/ http://allisonsays.com/2012/10/02/six-girlfriends/#comments Tue, 02 Oct 2012 18:08:28 +0000 allisonbarton http://allisonsays.com/?p=2423 ]]> When it comes to friends at school, Alex primarily spends his days with other boys. There was a short period of time when he told us he had a “school girlfriend” but as soon as they were no longer in the same class, he moved on to the rowdy boys: making believe they are superheroes or Power Rangers, wrestling whenever the teacher turns her back, and building weapon after shooty-weapon out of Legos.

The other day, though, he told me something that he said was very important:

“I have six girlfriends.”

I asked him who they were, and he listed four. “I can’t remember the other two names. But they’re my girlfriends, too.”

Two of his girlfriends were available for a get-together over the weekend at a local farm that has all sorts of fall festivities: glitter face painting (the adults all conveniently didn’t notice that), bounce houses, a petting zoo, hay rides, a corn maze, and much, much, more.

Needless to say, he was psyched to spend the day with some older ladies that he calls girlfriends.

At some point, I asked him what it meant to have a girlfriend. He wasn’t sure, but he was sure that he had a bunch of them.

All in all, the kids had a blast at the farm. They found their way out of the corn maze (eventually!), talked nonstop, screamed almost as nonstop, and generally were the well-behaved awesome kids Alex and I are lucky to have in our lives.

“I had a really fun time with them today. I wish we could see them more,” Alex told me as we were driving home late that evening after a night of s’mores, campfire bananas, and a lot of playing, with only a short break for crying when he managed to fall and get stuck in a teeny tiny doll-sized playpen.

Kid has six girlfriends, and he’s only five. He’s lucky: he’s picked some good ones.

The other day, Alex proudly told me that he used the last of the toilet paper in the bathroom. I wasn’t sure why he was so proud, although I had a suspicion it wasn’t going to be something I wanted to hear about, until he went on to explain that he also changed the roll of toilet paper all by himself.

This is awesome. I told him that it was awesome! I said it was fantastic that he was willing to do that, and that it made me proud.

A little while later, I, too, used the bathroom. And, sure enough, there was a new roll of toilet paper put on just like Alex had said. There was a small problem, though.

The toilet paper was put on the wrong way.

I never did explain the right way to put it on because I was just so happy that he did it.

Plus, I love that he is becoming more and more independent, even if that means that sometimes things won’t be “perfect”.