Monday night. 11:05 PM. I’m in bed only slightly later than I had hoped. The fan is blowing, I see the faint glow of the living room down the hall, and I shut my eyes. I am ready to fall asleep after a very long day.
Suddenly, there is a whir, a flicker of lights, and everything stops. It’s dark. It’s silent. It’s weird.
I slowly make my way back to the living room, unable to see anything. Buzz. It’s so dark. Buzz. We keep all of the blinds in our apartment shut to avoid the greenhouse effect (seriously), so to get some light in we open them. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. City light shines in and we can see silhouetted tables and chairs.
Buzz. Someone is freaking out in the elevator. I don’t blame them, I would freak out if I got stuck in the elevator during a power outage. Buzz “But seriously, if they wake Alex up I’m going to rip them a new one.”
I get back in bed. It’s so dark. It’s so quiet. Buzz. Except for the occasional buzzing. My ears are ringing. How do I make my ears stop ringing? It’s so quiet! I open the blinds in our bedroom to let some city light in. Buzz. I open the window for noise. No air comes through our windows because we seem to miraculously have no wind. I can hear the busses below start and stop their engines. Finally, some sound.
I close my eyes. It’s so quiet. Buzz. The person is still freaking out in the elevator. I’m freaked out by how quiet it still is. A car drives by and I wish it would drive by again and again and again.
It’s sometime after 1:00 AM. There is a shake and a whir. The air conditioning is on, the fan is blowing on my feet, the alarm clock is emitting light. I can sleep. Finally.
How do people live in the middle of nowhere? How do you live where it is dark and so very quiet? When I first went to college I remember how dark and quiet it was there. At night, unless you were right in the middle of downtown Northampton, it was pitch black. As long as you were away from the college, there was no sound but the crickets. I eventually slept with a fan year round.
(Can’t get that song out of my head! “I think a change (a change would do you good) would do you good.)
It’s time for a change. A big change. A lifestyle change.
Why? So glad you asked. You see, yesterday was the first day that I felt 100% back to normal. A week and a half ago, I woke up with a god-awful sore throat, headache, and total grogginess. I had a minor sore throat the night before, but didn’t think anything of it. Now, since then I’ve had a sore throat and general ickiness. There have been times when I’ve felt better, but then I crash again.
I am taking this as a big old fat hint. I need to change my lifestyle.
1. Healthy Eating! This includes breakfast every day. No more unhealthy, crappy, junk food. Lots of fruit and vegetables!
2. Exercise! Every day. I want to take a walk with Alex every day, weather permitting. I have a work out DVD that I am going to start doing regularly!
3. Quit the bad habits! No regular drinking. On occasion, but not more than once a week. And we wont discuss the shameful smoking that occurs too regularly except to say it’s going to stop.
4. Better sleep habits. Get in bed between 10 and 10:30, read for a while, and then sleep. That way getting up at 7:00 will be reasonable. No more tired mornings if I can get enough sleep!
I’m sure there are more things that I need to do, but that is a good start. This illness was a kick in my butt to get moving! I need to make a change, and that change is coming.
Starting tonight. I will go to bed early. I will wake up early tomorrow morning. I will eat breakfast with Alex, I will work out, I will take a walk with Alex, I will eat a healthy lunch and cook a healthy dinner. Screw this sick stuff. I’m over it!
I love watching Alex eat. It’s always a mess, which is a definite down side, but it’s so cute. The way he picks food up between his thumb and index finger, the way he shoves the food deep into his mouth, the way he licks his fingers when it’s a food he really likes, and the way he says “mmmm,” which I think is him mimicking me saying “Yum!”
Recently, the most amusing part about feeding him is the sippy cup adventures. He doesn’t quite get the sippy cup yet. For the first few times I gave it to him, he just banged it around. Bang. Bang. Bang fall. Eventually, I got him to suck on it, and he realized, “Hey! Liquid comes out when I suck on it!” but he hasn’t figured out how to get it to work on his own.
First, there was the issue of “Where do I put my mouth?”
Once he figured out where to put his mouth on his own, he came to the next dilemma: “Now that my mouth is on here, how do I get the liquid out?” He sucks and sucks, I can hear the air moving around in there, but nothing comes out. He doesn’t understand that he has to tilt the cup for liquid to come out.
And, naturally, he wont let me help him tilt the cup. Now that he has figured out that it’s his sippy cup, and that he can put it to his mouth himself, he freaks out every time I attempt to tilt it for him. He gives me this look that says, “Get away, Devil woman! I can do it myself!” (In my head, Alex sometimes acts like Stewie from Family Guy.)
He’ll get it eventually. And until he does, it’s pretty amusing to watch.
Alex keeps getting caught in his crib slats. I’ll come in to him crying, and see him with one (or both!) leg stuck in between two slats. Jammed in there, a few inches above the mattress so he can’t quite sit down properly. He’s slumped over, crying, and his leg is stuck. It’s so pathetic. I figured it was because he was attempting to climb out.
Today, I realized I was right. Alex started climbing up the side of his play pen. How someone so small can be so strong is amazing. Oh dear, I think Alex is a climber!
I am a slob. Especially compared to my son. I throw on jeans and a t-shirt and call myself dressed 99% of the time. It’s a wonder I can get Alex dressed so well every day when I can’t manage to find a single nice outfit for myself. His clothes selection is amazing, from over 15 polo shirts and 8 pairs of jeans, to multiple jackets and converse sneakers (in navy). Everything is teeny tiny so it’s 100 times cuter than on an adult.
Needless to say, in comparison I always look like crap. Utter crap. Even on the days when I try to get dressed up, when I blow dry my hair and put on make up, I still look like I just can’t get it together. I do my best to look cute, to look like I care about what I look like. (You know, I secretly desire to be a MILF. Shhh. Don’t tell!) When you can’t fit into 3/4 of your clothes, though, you have problem numero uno. When you find something to put on, but you have to compete with a baby wearing an adorable hat and shorts that match, you have problem numero dos. And numero dos is a big problem.
But how can I compete?
How can you not love a teeny tiny polo? Or teeny tiny Converses? Seriously, this kid has it made in the style department. Here I am, not quite a slob but definitely not looking my best, next to him, wearing his Rugby Polo:
Although, to be honest, he isn’t always well dressed. Take yesterday morning for example:
No pants and only one sock and he still beat me on the cuteness factor. Not much can compete with a baby, I’ve learned.