Alex and I had to take two flights to get here. We had to change planes in Las Vegas, of all horrible places. I have never been to Las Vegas, but if the airport is a small taste of the city I never want to go. It was bright, loud, there were drunk people everywhere, and there were slot machines. In the airport. Seriously? You want to gamble while you are waiting for your plane? You want to get drunk at the kagillion bars that are in every wing of the airport? It was only midnight Las Vegas-time, but it was 3am my time and I had been holding a heavy infant for hours while carrying a million bags all over the place since 5pm, so needless to say I was not in the mood.
Anyway. Alex was great. He slept the entirety of both flights. Unfortunately for me, he’s a big boy. Quite frankly, he’s too big. It was difficult to get comfortable holding him, and every time he picked a new position his foot or head or arms would either be touching the people sitting next to us or jamming themselves into the arm rests or out into the aisle where they could be run over by the (two dollars each) drink carts.
The worst part about the flights, though, was the twelve people that touched Alex. Yes. Twelve. I counted.
On the second, short, flight, there was a middle-aged woman sitting behind us. She had bleached hair, too much jewelry, a god-awful wedding ring, and was wearing spandex, leopard-print, pants. Talk about tacky. She fit right in at the Las Vegas airport. Unfortunately, as always, Alex was a charmer. He kept smiling at her, peaking around the chair, trying to play peek-a-boo. She was having a grand ol’ time playing with him. I was fine with it all, as it was distracting Alex from the fact that it was 3am and he was exhausted. Until she touched him. She put her nasty, super long, fake nail covered hands all over his face. She touched his hands and his hair. Again and again. And again.
I turned around and gave her a nasty look and didn’t let Alex get anywhere near the back of the seat again. She was the twelfth person to touch him that night, and I was fed up.
What makes her even worse? She was hacking up a lung the entire flight.
If Alex gets sick I’m going to find that tacky woman and punch her.