They Break You Down and Lift You Up

Some days with Alex can feel like a roller coaster ride. The ups? Way up, sky high! The downs? You crash and burn. And then sometimes fizzle for a while longer.

It’s hard not to take the rides with him. When he’s happy and charming it’s impossible not to smile. But when he isn’t? Well…

“Some days I don’t wike you, Mommy. I don’t want to be with you.”

Ouch, kiddo. Ouch.

The things that will come out of his mouth can be rough to hear. There is no filter; he just says exactly what he’s thinking, when he’s thinking it, with no ability to regard the effects it has. He is three, after all, so it’s not like I expect otherwise.

And even though I know that these mean things he’s saying are simply in response to being told “no” about something (a treat, hitting people, watching another show, wearing pajamas to school), it still catches my breath momentarily. And even though I know that he doesn’t mean it, doesn’t even fully comprehend the meaning of it, it’s still saddening.

But then, just as quickly, he can make everything better.

“You’re so beautiful, Mommy. I love you.”

So simple. So heart warming.

And especially so sweet with a kiss that tasted just like an M&M.


4 thoughts on “They Break You Down and Lift You Up

  1. Oh, yes. Kate was telling me last night how I was the best mommy ever and she loved me so much. I laughed, kissed her, and said, “sure, that’s because I haven’t said no to you in a while.” she laughed too.

  2. It’s absolutely a gut punch when Deacon tells me he doesn’t want to be with me. And, because his grandparents are SO MUCH FUN and keep the kids most days while M & I work, I often hear, “I don’t want to go to Mommy & Pop’s house!” when I’m picking him up.

    Then there are the stories of him telling his grandmother he wants to go home as soon as he wakes up at her house. And the fact that since he’s learned our phone numbers (I’m kind of regretting that), he can pick up a phone at any moment and dial us at will. That never fails to make me smile.

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