I Lost It

I have lost all blog mojo.

Whatever mojo I may have had started to dissipate when I went back to school
to get my BSN. The program was all-consuming, with little time to myself and only a small amount for my family that I made happen. There just wasn’t the ten minutes here and there that I would have liked to have in order to write. To share and remember those moments in blog form like I had been doing since Alex was a baby was just not making the top of my priority list.

And then I graduated, and thought, “Now! This is the time I can be better and document our lives again!”

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Well, that didn’t happen, either.

I got a job, with ridiculous hours, and basically just drowned in my exhaustion and attempted to enjoy my days off. I kept Alex out of school about once a month in order to have the opportunity to actually spend a full day with him since I was working every other weekend. We had adventures, traveling to the zoo or simply running errands, apple picking in the fall, and enjoying quiet days at home.

And now, here I am, almost 14 months after I started my job as a registered nurse. Here I am, with a total of 20 posts for over a year of our lives. As I look back on it, I realize there are things that I didn’t post that I should have, because, let’s face it, I will not remember. I won’t remember the adorable way that Alex used to argue when he was just three years old. I won’t remember the way that he continued to play with his hair whenever he was tired even as he neared 4.5 years old.

Unless.

Unless I, this time, find my mojo.

I am starting a new job. This is very exciting, amazingly nerve wracking, and all-around new. My hours will be better and worse at the same time. But: I will be here every weekend. Every holiday. And for that I would have taken on a job that wasn’t very interesting to me. But this job? This job is interesting, and I think it is going to be an amazing opportunity.

And now I want to remember. I want to have documentation of our adventures. Little snippets of the things Alex says, the goofy things he does, the pictures of his smile and not-so-chubby-anymore-face.

So, here goes. If I manage to write even 50% more than I have in the previous 14 months I’ll be happy. I don’t want to forget all of this stuff. I don’t want to forget the little moments that slip away so easily.

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2 thoughts on “I Lost It

  1. i am blown away by that first photo and totally forgot everything i wanted to say.

    so…ummm…try not to put too much pressure on yourself and enjoy the writing, the documenting your lives. but if you don’t put it here, at least you are still experiencing it and loving it. enjoy!

  2. I agree with this first comment. Live in the present and enjoy the moments you do have with your son. Also, if it’s too much pressure to try to blog all of your memories, you may want to try taking more pictures for yourself or writing certain memories down on paper (if that’s quicker). No matter what you choose, your readers understand 🙂

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