For as long as I can remember, weekends have stressed me out. This is particularly true of Sundays, and any friends (especially poor Zach) can attest to that fact. Fridays felt great, but by Saturday and especially by Sunday, I was a walking, talking, annoying, frustrated human being. There is so much to do I thought every second of every minute of Sunday (and even parts of Saturday). I would tell myself to stop, there isn’t that much to do, our house isn’t that dirty, and maybe you can do some laundry during the week (even though you’ll be totally wiped from work and cooking and cleaning and okay…it’ll never get done that way)?
But I’ve always had this sense that people are relaxed during the weekend. That people are able to unwind the tightly wound knot we all put ourselves into every week. Mostly, it seemed to me that weekends are designed so that you don’t stress out. That in between school or work lived these days designed to help you not worry about school or work. I mean, aren’t weekends supposed to be this magical two-day period wherein everyone takes a deep breath and sits down? (Surely, thinking that life could be relaxing while also being totally maintained is one of the reasons I got so stressed out.)
Instead of this ideal I had created in my head of drinking tea while the house is somehow put together on it’s own, weekends were a flurry of activity and of Hurry-Up-And-Get-Ready-For-The-Week. During school, I studied, did homework, and prepared for the week. When I worked, I did errands, chores, and prepared for the week. I never relaxed. I never did, well, nothing. I never took a deep breath and sat down.
Last weekend was our last bit of vacation after a lovely break, where both Alex and Zach were off for a solid two weeks. We watched movies, celebrated holidays, and had a generally amazing time. The time was coming to a close, though, as Zach was going back to work on Monday while Alex was heading back to school. I knew that this would be the first week of my new job, my new life as a stay at home mom.
I felt anxious all day Sunday. There is so much laundry to do. Where is Alex’s lunchbox? We have no food in the house. What will I make for dinner tomorrow? Oh no, what will everyone pack for lunch? The house is a mess. The Christmas tree is still up! and on and on and on. I tried to take a deep breath and sit down.
But how do you take a deep breath and sit down when your house is a mess and there’s no food in your refrigerator? When you are ready to start your family back on track to healthy meals and regular exercise, and all you can do is order food? When you want to make sure you have clean clothes and that your son has his favorite sweater to wear for the first week back? How do you take a deep breath and sit down when there is so much to do?
Fortunately, it was an unseasonably warm day, so Alex helped me take a deep breath and sit down: he wanted to go on a rock hunt.
I let the thoughts leave my mind as I took a deep breath and reminded myself that my new life meant I could do laundry and grocery shop any time. We walked outside. We strolled up our street, looking for rocks on the sidewalk, slowly peering behind trees, and then strolled back down the street, making sure to check around every possible corner. We weren’t running errands, we weren’t doing chores, we weren’t doing anything that would prepare for everyone’s first week back after a long vacation.
We just were.